I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
