dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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