note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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