Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
