I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
