you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
BRING THE BAGELS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
