Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
