Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The adults are the big ones right?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
