He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
