With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
