I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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