Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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