She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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