so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize