I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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