I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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