Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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