In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
