You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
