Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
