id be glad to
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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