sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
