I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
