Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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