Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
my liver is dry heaving
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
