I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
