Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
