3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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