The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
