So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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