I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
