so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
