I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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