did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
