Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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