i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
home. puking in laundry basket.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
