I heard we made out
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
