Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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