what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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