And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
