I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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