some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i came on her dog
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
