Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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