How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
