dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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