So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
