If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
