what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
