Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
