he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
