remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
